Marriage Resources

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What are married roommates? The phrase “married roommates” can look very different depending on the couple. Extensive research was done to understand the subtle differences to help couples pinpoint what is really going on in their relationship and to identify roommate-like behaviors—the little foxes—that have found their way (or could find their way) into their vineyard of love.

If your relationship is feeling stale, what can you do? Learn how to spice up your marriage and rediscover your spouse.

Let's look more closely at what constitutes "a good family man" in today's world.

Forty years ago, I had on the biggest hat-vale thing you've ever seen. With about a million buttons down the back of my high-necked, Victorian-style wedding gown, I walked down the aisle toward my soon-to-be husband. He was dressed all in white, and his smile took my breath away. Finally, after years of waiting, I would be his bride.

The great tragedies of life can undermine committed love, but so can minor frustrations. These daily irritants, when accumulated over time, might be even more threatening to a marriage than the catastrophic events that crash into our lives. 

There’s a reason traditional marriage vows have endured for centuries. Take a close look at what they say.

For most couples, it’s a slow fade from connect to disconnect in marriage. I think this is especially true for parents. The long nights, the demands of parenting, conflicting work schedules, too many commitments, or even the struggles of blending a stepfamily … it all adds up over time. That’s why it takes effort for couples to stay connected emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Disconnecting is easy—it sneaks up on you while you’re busy doing life.

God is with His children. If you and your wife follow Jesus, the same Holy Spirit is with each of you (Ephesians 1:13). God Himself has declared a husband and wife are “one” (Matthew 19:4-6), and the Holy Spirit is the crazy glue that sticks us together. Marriage, in fact, forms a triad relationship: you and your spouse connect with each other, individually with God, and together with God.

Tragically, the study upset the standing premise that kids recover from divorce within a two-year period. It defines instead an “unexpected gulf” between kids of divorced families and those from intact families. Researchers outlined lifetime “difficulties children of divorce encounter in achieving love, sexual intimacy, and commitment to marriage and parenthood.” 

Emotions serve as signposts pointing to deeper realities within us. Proverbs 20:5 advises, ​​“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” I really need to work on that understanding part.

If you’re in an “opposites attract” marriage and experiencing more conflict than complementing, don’t despair. You can still be opposites and have a loving, understanding, well-rounded marriage.

For those who aren’t wired the same way, a conversation with an external processor can feel like a firehose to the face. How can you effectively connect with your verbal-processing spouse? And how can we external processors get everything out without reducing the listener to a sweaty, tear-stained puddle?

Here are a few tips for both sides.